Sex is a gift from God.  Like all aspects of humanity, it has been completely disrupted and distorted by Original Sin.  Sex therapy helps individuals and couples address medical, psychological, personal, spiritual, and/or interpersonal factors.

Research reports that 43% of women and 31% of men state that they experienced some type of sexual dysfunction during their lifetimes.

The goal of sex therapy is to help people move past physical, emotional, thinking, and spiritual challenges to experiencing a pleasurable sex life and satisfying relationship.

Sex therapists listen to your concerns within the realm of sex such as:

• • Concerns over intimacy
  • Concerns about sexual desire – the most common reason couples seek sex therapy
  • Concerns about sexual arousal
  • Problems of orgasm
  • Sexual anxieties
  • Lack of sexual drive
  • Excessive sexual desire
  • Distressing sexual thoughts
  • Impulsive or compulsive sexual behavior
  • Difficulties, such as early ejaculation, trouble reaching orgasm, or painful intercourse
  • Distressing sexual fetishes
  • Concerns over past unwanted or traumatic sexual experiences

Sex therapy is like any type of psychotherapy.  You treat the problem or issue by talking through your experiences, feelings, concerns, and behavior.  Unlike some psychotherapies, sex therapy also teaches skills to address the presented issue or issues.

Without a doubt, there is a great difference between how a Christian sex therapist understands and treats sexual concerns and how non-Christians understand and approach sex therapy.  A biblically-based worldview understand the gift of sexuality and sex as originating in mind and heart of God, how Original Sin has corrupted it, and what behaviors are within His design for sex.

Even if you are in a relationship, you can still choose to go to sex therapy alone versus as a couple. You need to assess what is the best option for you so that you are comfortable with therapy.  Together with your therapist, you will work out healthier coping mechanisms to improve future responses.

During your initial sessions, the therapist will talk with you individually or the couple to assess and determine the nature of the problem.  A trained sex therapist is not going to judge, shame, or take one person’s side or attempt to persuade anyone.

While this might seem obvious, it sometimes is not.  Everyone will keep their clothes on.  You will not be asked to bring in a recording of any sexual behavior or experience.

One way to determine if you need to see a sex therapist rather than another type of therapist who is not certified is to analyze what parts of your life are the most affected by how you feel right now.

If your quality of life and emotional health are greatly affected by your sexual dysfunction, it is a wise idea to make an appointment with a sex therapist.  Likewise, if a lack of intimacy or difficulty communicating with a partner leads as your most serious personal concern, a sex therapist is the place to start.

Only mental health practitioners who are licensed or otherwise credentialed in their particular counseling field (e.g., psychologists, licensed professional counselors, licensed marriage & family therapists, clinical social workers) are eligible to enroll in certified sex therapy training program.

The training consists of numerous courses and 50 hours of supervision on actual sex therapy work by a seasoned certified sex therapist.

To maintain certification, the certified sex therapist must renew certification every year.  Certified therapists must also take continuing education to grow their knowledge and skill.

There are two organizations that certify sex therapists.  The first is The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) is a secular organization that provides training and certification for licensed professionals.  The AASECT organization has many beliefs that stand in opposition to a biblical worldview.  Not everyone, however, certified by them holds to all the views of AASECT.  You can be a Christian therapist and an AASECT member.

The second organization is the American Board of Christian Sex Therapists (ABCST) that certifies Christian-oriented therapists in the knowledge and skills of sex therapy.  One means of obtaining training for certification is through the Institute of Sexual Wholeness (ISW), a branch of Sexual Wholeness, which is dedicated to training Christian therapists and ministry leaders to unveil God’s truth about sexuality and bring healing.  ISW is the certification training organization under Sexual Wholeness.  ISW operates from a biblical worldview, which informs thoughts, conclusion, and treatment for sexual issues.  While many techniques are the same as AASECT, the understanding of sexual issues and the goals of counseling can be very different.

Both AASECT and ISW have an ethical statement that certified members are to follow.  Additionally, ISW has a doctrine statement that delineates its theological beliefs.

Sex therapists do ask questions considered private by most people.  Just like a medical physician must examine the physical body, sex therapist ask questions concerning such areas as sexual thoughts, sexual feelings, sexual practices, and areas where sexual shame might exist. Counselors are not shocked by replies from clients nor do their judge.  The goal is to understand you and to determine the best means of  helping.

In your first therapy session, a sex therapist may ask you questions around the following topics:

• • Your sexual history, both as individuals and (if applicable) as partners
  • Your general mental health history
  • Your sexual orientation and gender identity
  • Your family and your relationship with them
  • Any traumatic experiences or history that the therapist should be aware of
  • Any physical or medical concerns that may be affecting the current issue
  • The course of your relationship and what it’s like outside of sex (if the issue is related to a partnered relationship)
  • Your typical sexual habits, including frequency and type of sexual contact and masturbation
  • How you show desire and affection, beyond sex

You do not need to be in a relationship to go for sex therapy.  Even if you are in a relationship, you can still choose to go to sex therapy alone versus as a couple. You need to assess what is the best option for you so that you are comfortable with therapy.  Together with your therapist, you will work out healthier coping mechanisms to improve future responses.